Lost in Fallen Leaves

Sometimes you just need to shout. Open your mouth as wide as you can and scream at the loudest possible decibel until there's no wind left in you and the sound is reduced to a cough and a whimper.

Then you can cry because, despite the shouting, crying is what you actually need to do.

As my sister-in-law keeps saying, it's 2006, this is the United States we're living in, and women aren't supposed to die having babies. Even though we know there were special circumstances - a big heart figuratively but a weak heart literally - what my SIL says smacks of Truth.

The new father suddenly finds himself a single parent to premature newborn twins. If anyone has suggestions for resources that might be useful to him now or in the future, please drop a note in the Comments or e-mail me (remove the spaces: l g o s e @ i n d i a n a . e d u). He's got family and friends and goes to a big church, so emotional and spiritual support nets are in place. At least there's that.

The wedding was beautiful.

My family arrived in town Thursday afternoon, and we all went to dinner that evening and then made plans for getting the things done on Friday that needed to be done. We had a late night, but sitting around talking and catching up was fun.

Friday turned out to be a rather miserable day. Somehow or other, my parents misunderstood the plan for the morning, which put us more than half an hour late getting started on the to-do list. And it was cold and rainy. Ed and I got locked out of the house. Deciding on gifts for some of the wedding party had become stupidly difficult. It continued to be cold and rainy.

Running late since the morning, my side of the errand-runners continued to run late, arriving at the venue for the rehearsal at the time we’d asked everyone to assemble rather than the thirty minutes earlier we’d planned on. But Ed and his side of the errand-runners had been able to arrive earlier, and, as I understand it, he found everything set up wrong and worked on getting everything into place where it should have gone. I felt kind of discombobulated at the rehearsal, but after it got underway, everyone seemed to agree that it was fine and we all knew where to go and what to do. So we were off to the rehearsal dinner at Turkuaz, the Turkish restaurant run by Metin Ayvazoglu, an extremely gracious man. Ed and I had our first date there, right around two years ago.

Ride-sharing meant that with my parents I drove my brother’s minivan to pick up my Aunt Jane and Uncle Sushil -- my dad’s twin sister and her husband who were in from Nebraska -- on the way to the restaurant. I dropped them off at the door and then took the minivan down the road to park it. So everyone was already there and the appetizers were on the table when I got there (late, again - see the pattern?). But this is where the magic began... I walked to my seat along a carpet of flowers and flower petals: Metin had decorated with balloons and flowers and flower petals - and a “Congratulations” sign that I only saw later. He was bustling about with plates and pitchers of water, giving hugs and offering toasts. It was simply grand.

After dinner, we gathered together at a local pub called The Irish Lion with out-of-town guests who were not part of the wedding party. I think we may have had forty or more people there, an amazing turnout. I got to introduce some local friends to some long-distance friends, and I hope maybe some connections were made, however tentative they may be. I enjoyed having the opportunity to visit with folks a little more. (Something I got to do again on Saturday, with the ladies, at a luncheon hosted by my mother-in-law at her home. It was a wonderful way to start a day that turned out to be so great.)

Then we parted ways, and Ed and I did not see each other again until the ceremony began Saturday evening. I don’t know if Ed thought ‘wow!’ when my parents and I entered the room, but I had my own ‘wow!’ moment when I finally saw him, so handsome in his tuxedo with the purple flower as his boutonniere. Everything glows in my memory, so there must have been a glow to the place while we were there. My cousin Nita, the judge, officiated. My brother Kevin opened things with a reading, and Ed’s sister Mindy read something just before we exchanged vows. And at the end of things, Ed’s friend - our friend, I think, but Ed’s friend longer and first - Staci sang the song we had picked out, “In My Life,” accompanied on the guitar by her beau Bill. That was one of my favorite moments: during the song, Ed removed the engagement ring from my right hand and replaced it on my left, over the wedding band -- our quiet moment. I know other people were in the room, but, for me, at that moment, it was just us.